Matchmaking Misunderstandings
by Dia Newman
Summary: All of the Dex Holder's are tired of Blue pushing them together, so they hire Dia (moi) to help end it. Really funny, please R&R, rated T due to swearing. One-Shot


**Warning: If you don't like sories where authors put themselves in, don't read this**  
**  
Note: Soul (Lyra/Kotone) is in this story**

Normal POV, Viridian Forest  
"Come on Red!" Yellow yelled, splashing the raven-haired boy and running farther along the river, escaping him.

"You're going to get it now, Yellow?" Red laughed, chasing after said girl, tackling her so they both got doused in water. A flash went off and sounds of Blue cackling were heard.

"You two lovebirds are so cute!" Blue ran away before Red or Yellow could respond.  
**  
Professor Oak's Lab**

"SSG, I'm bored." Gold complained. "Play with me."

"Gold, you're fourteen, not three. Go back home and leave me be." Crystal snapped, jotting something down before sticking a book on a bookshelf.

"But I'm bored~!" Gold whined. A sudden idea popped in his mind and Gold pulled out a box of chocolate Pocky. "Let's play the Pocky game!"

"The what–?!" That's all Crystal got out before she had a piece of Pocky stuck in her mouth.

"You bite on one end, I bite on the other, and we keep eating till the middle and whoever breaks it first loses!" Gold explained before chomping on the other end. Gold and Crystal's lips got closer and closer before–

_FLASH!_

"Aw, crap!" Blue said, looking at her camera. "I was a moment too soon."

Gold and Crystal broke away at the same time in shock before Crystal went on rampage. "BLUUUUUE!"  
**  
Saffron City**

Ruby and Sapphire were enjoying company with each other, talking (and for once not fighting) about everything. It took for Sapphire to trip for them to start holding hands. Blue giggled sneakily as she followed the couple into a park, and she accidently let her camera off too early to catch their first kiss. Blue had to run like the wind to not be caught by Sapphire. Last stop: the Sinnoh Trio that were in Vermilion.  
**  
Vermilion City**

Platinum was eating scone while watching Diamond and Pearl do their Manzai act. After they finished, they walked out of the hotel. Platinum looked both ways before starting to cross a street, then–

_HOOOOOOONK!_

"MISSY!" Platinum felt someone grab her arm and pull her back, but she stumbled and fell face-forward on the person. She squeezed her eyes shut, and when she opened them, she found her face centimeters away from Diamond's.  
A flash went off and Blue ran away yelling, "Preserving memories!"

**Viridian Gym**

All of the Dex Holder's (excluding Blue) went to Green to complain about Blue.

"GUYS SHUT UP!" Green bellowed, snapping and silencing the crowd.

"_All my life I've been good, but now, I'm like what, the hell~_" A girl sang as she entered the room. She was wearing grey yoga shorts, a green V-neck T-shirt, thick dark purple glasses, yellow flip flops, and her honey brown hair was in a side ponytail, blonde highlights evident. "Oh. Sorry Green, didn't know you had company. May I join in on the fun?"

"Dia," Green glared at the short girl, who matched his glare with a grin. "How many times have I told you not to wear that if you're going to work here?"

"Aw, c'mon spiky!" Dia teased. "I only clean the place. By the way, you really need to learn to pick up your dirty underwear, it's gross–"

"DIA!" Green roared, but too late. Red and Gold were on the ground laughing, the girls were stifling giggles, and for Mew's sake, _Silver_ was smiling. "Anyway, I need you to do something for me."

Dia walked over and sat on Green's desk. "Like what? And do I get paid?"

"What is up with you and money?" Green asked.

"Hey! You try being fourteen and living off yourself!" Dia defended.

"Anyway," Green ignored the rant that was about to come on. "I need you to do something to Blue that'll make her lay off the others."

Everyone shivered at the way Dia grinned **(I'm eviler than I appear)**. "Oh?"

"Dia…" Green said warningly.

"Okay!" Dia chirped, ignoring the brunette. "So is she bugging you with relationship crap?"

Everyone nodded, and Dia's grin, if possible, grew. "Okay, this is going to take a lot of cooperation from you guys…"

**Next day.**

Blue ran down the streets of Viridian City to drag Yellow out shopping, when she saw_ that_. Yellow was wearing clothes suitable for a stripper (she was getting many whistles, in which the blonde smiled and winked at the boys) and was holding hands with Ruby, who for Ho-oh's sake was wearing clothes suitable for a gang.

Yellow's clothes consisted of white four-inch high heels, a black mini-skirt that barely reached the top of her thigh, and a way to revealing tank top. Her hair was down and way tip dyes red. There was thick eyeliner and mascara on her face.  
Ruby's outfit was of his shorts–except they were sagging–a white muscle shirt, a gold chain, and a red beanie. His clothes were absolutely messy, making Blue gape before she ran up to them.

"Yellow, Ruby!" Blue waved her hand, and they simply ignored her until Blue put her hands on their shoulders.

"What?" Yellow snapped rudely. "Can't you see we're on a date?"

"W–what?" Blue stuttered, trying to wrap her mind around everything. "I–I thought you liked R–Red!"

"That stick in the mud?" Yellow scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Puh–lease. He's a fucking idiot. He's dating Crystal. Would you leave us alone, now?"

"Let's go babe." Ruby said, wrapping his arm around Yellow's waist, hitting her bum in the process, and walked away. Blue just stared wide-eyed at them. _Did Yellow just swear...?_

**~O~O~O~O~O~O~**

"You go babe!" Red quietly cheered from the sidelines where the rest Dex Holder's and Dia stood. Dia and Gold were leaning on each other laughing, before Dia sobered up and looked at Red.

"Are you two dating?" She asked, walking over and attempting to lace her arm around Red's shoulder, but let's face it. Dia was short and Red was too damn tall. So she failed big time, and instead leaned on the teen.

"Uh… Yea, we just never told anyone due to Blue." Red admitted sheepishly. Dia looked at her PokeGear (she convinced Green to buy her one) and cursed.

"Crap! You and Chris need to go start making out in Professor Oak's lab!" Dia grabbed the said people and went to her apartment, dressed them in suitable attire, and shoved them in the lab, awaiting Blue's next response.

"You know, I thought you liked Blue." Green muttered.

"I do, doesn't mean I can't play ingenious pranks on her." Dia giggled.

**~O~O~O~O~O~O~**

Blue walked into Professor Oak's lab, hoping to fine sane people, but instead found Crystal and Red making out. Blue ripped Red away from the navy-haired girl.

"RED! No offence Crystal but…" Blue turned back to Red. "YOU SPENT FOUR FUCKING HOURS TELLING ME HOW MUCH YOU LOVED YELLOW, AND NOW YOUR ABOUT TO GO AND HAVE SEX WITH CHRIS?!"

"Yellow's a whore." Red said placidly.

Crystal clung onto Red's arm. "Come on Red-kun~, let's go somewhere private." If Blue wasn't already shocked with Crystal's behavior, it was with her clothes. Crystal was wearing a pair of jean shorts that didn't fully cover her backside and a red tank  
top that her breasts were practically falling out of.

"Yea, let's go Super Sexy Gal." Red grabbed Crystal's hand, imitating Gold's nickname, and they walked out.

"Oh my good Arceus, is this a dream?" Blue asked herself.  
**  
~O~O~O~O~O~O~**

"I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this." Gold muttered to himself.

"Oi, if I have to dress up in a skirt, you're dressing up in nice clothes and acting like a gentleman." Dia said, glaring at the boy.  
"Besides, you might be able to with Crystal's heart!"

"She's way outta my league!" Gold cried. "But you wouldn't know…"

"I seriously doubt that. Gold, you don't know me; now stop making assumptions and GO GET DRESSED!" Dia walked out of the  
room, throwing a dress shirt and jeans at Gold.

**~O~O~O~O~O~O~**

Blue clutched her head. She just saw Platinum acting like a slut and wearing a skimpy outfit clinging onto Gold, who was a complete gentleman. Blue rounded a corner to find Pearl and Diamond… holding hands.

"Hey Pearl, Dia!" Blue yelled catching up to them. "Do you know what's–?!"

"Hey guess what senior!" Dia said excitedly. "Pearl and I are dating!" Everyone around them froze and stared at the couple.

"…" Blue could only stare at them in shock. "Y–you–?"

"C'mon Senior, you didn't figure out that we aren't straight?" Pearl asked. "I thought you knew everything."

"O–oh look at the time! H–have to go now, bye!" And with that, Blue ran away. Pearl and Diamond immediately let go of each other.

"Ewe," Pearl said. "Remind me to never get on Dia's bad side, I don't want to pretend to be gay ever again."

"I still think Blue's worse." Diamond commented.

**~O~O~O~O~O~O~**

"SILVER I SWEAR TO ARCEUS I WILL FORCE THIS ON YOU AND CUT YOUR HAIR INSTEAD OF PUTTING A WIG ON!" Dia screeched and the red-head.

"Fine, I'll wear it." Silver muttered. Dia turned to Sapphire, who ripped the dress out of Dia's hands and ran to go change.

"Ohoho~ I'm good." Dia commented, wiping the imaginary dust off her. Everyone sweat dropped. This girl was bipolar.

**~O~O~O~O~O~O~**

Silver helped Sapphire off his Honchcrow like the gentleman he wasn't. _Stupid Dia… _Silver growled to himself, before smiling at Sapphire.

Now Sapphire was dressed in what had to be the frilliest dress of all time. Had to be. It was knee length and had flowers and frills and confetti everywhere. Silver felt sorry for the brunette.

"Thank you, Silver!" Sapphire said politely. Silver offered his arm and Sapphire took it. They walked through a park (receiving many, many stares) and bumped into Blue.

"Oh hey Silv, what are you–?!" Blue looked from Silver to Sapphire. "Oh my Arceus." She slapped her cheeks and let out a defeated sigh. "Sorry, but I need to go to the Pallet Town. BBL!"

**~O~O~O~O~O~O~**

Blue ran away gagging at the sight of Soul and Emerald being all lovey dovey. "That' it, I need to find Green."  
**  
~O~O~O~O~O~O~**

"Well shit." Dia muttered. "C'mon, Green, let's get dressed. **(Green's gonna wear his HGSS outfit)**. Dia and Green left the room, leaving the rest of the Dex Holder's in a silence, before Crystal started to laugh.

"Y–you should've seen Blue's f–face!" Crystal covering her mouth in an attempt to stop laughing. One by one, the other teens started to laugh at the reactions from Blue. There laughing only got harder when Dia appeared in a white blouse, a black mini-skirt, sandals, and a head band in her hair, pushing back her bangs. Dia's glasses were missing.

Green raised an eyebrow when he walked into the room, but didn't question it. He actually chuckled at the sight of a disgruntled Dia. "C'mon, we have to go to the gym." Dia growled, before stomping out of her apartment. The rest of the Dex Holder's followed suit.

**~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~**

On the way to the Viridian City Gym, Blue met a boy named Gunther who was looking for Dia. Knowing Dia worked there, Blue dragged him along.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Gunther asked.

"Perv." Blue muttered. "Ah, we're here!" Blue and Gunther walked inside the gym to find Dia with her back facing the teens, on Green's lap, and making odd noises.

"Dia?!" Gunther asked shocked. Dia turned around, pushed herself off of Green, and screamed.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Everyone (including the hiding Dex Holder's) yelled.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Gunther screamed.

"DAMMIT YOU RUINED THE PLAN!" Emerald yelled hopping out of his hiding spot.

"GOOD ARCEUS, GREEN I'm GOING TO GO CLEAN YOUR UNDERWEAR YOU THROW AROUND LIKE CONFETTII–!" Dia screeched, standing up.

"DIA!" Green roared, face completely flushed.  
Dia ran over to a hidden Gold and started to laugh with him. Red and Yellow came out holding Red's hands (everyone was in their normal clothes). Ruby came out being supported by Sapphire, Emerald sitting on Ruby's head, Platinum was sitting next to Diamond in the stands eating (Or in Platz's case, drinking tea), Pearl was running around, Crystal was scolding Gold and Dia, and Soul was asleep on Silver's shoulder.

"W–what is going on?" Blue stuttered.

"FOOLED YOU!" Everyone yelled.

"Now stop messing with our lives!" Crystal commanded.

_"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!"_

And on that day, Blue somewhat learned what 'taking it too far' means.


End file.
